SE07 EP08 - Better Him Than Us

[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome, friends and adventurers to another episode of Dungeons and Blaggards. I am the dungeon Master, Robulon. Joining me in no particular order are the players. Brandon! [00:00:16] Speaker B: I am Ekurook Punschley, half orc blood hunter, Level 10, Dark Lord. [00:00:24] Speaker A: Eric! [00:00:25] Speaker C: I play Dr. Zozo Brightfeather, Level 10 Aarakocra artificer potionsmith. [00:00:32] Speaker D: Caleb! [00:00:34] Speaker E: I'm Kaitoa Tata. I'm a level 10 warforged barbarian. [00:00:40] Speaker A: Tomo! [00:00:41] Speaker G: Hey there. I'm playing Steve Tehuman. I am a human Gloomstalker Ranger, level six, Battle Master Fighter, level three. And a little bit of Rogue, level one. Vale! [00:00:56] Speaker H: I am playing Johawk. He is a gnoll champion fighter and totem warrior barbarian. [00:01:05] Speaker I: Hey, I'm Braeden. I'm playing half elf Beleg Dygar, hexblade warlock. [00:01:21] Speaker A: And now, the continuation of Dungeons and Blaggards. [00:01:27] Speaker E: Yeah, hopefully I don't regret stealing that guy's wand. But maybe it'll also be awesome. [00:01:34] Speaker C: It's pretty awesome right now, but [00:01:39] Speaker D: he's going to pull out his wand. It's going to be a flute. [00:01:44] Speaker E: That's what I'm hoping for. [00:01:48] Speaker D: And we have a spell book. [00:01:50] Speaker G: Yeah, we got the minotaur's spellbook [00:01:53] Speaker I: I really thought these apprentice guys were on our side. [00:01:56] Speaker E: I don't know, he's. He's one of the prefects or whatever. Right there. [00:01:59] Speaker G: Yeah, yeah, but they talk about Nafre and they also seem scared about The High Magi. [00:02:05] Speaker E: Well, everyone's scared of the High Magi. They're fucking assholes. [00:02:09] Speaker G: Exactly. [00:02:11] Speaker F: If the Gnoll pup gets his fingers broken, Johawk wouldn't bat an eye. But if he gets sentenced to some kind of death, Johawk is stepping up. Assuming this happens before our trial. [00:02:24] Speaker E: Well, the one thing we. I guess we'll have to hope we can achieve is eventually turn the students against the Magi. [00:02:35] Speaker D: I'm hoping that Dustbin, does a little distraction, dustwind. We can all have a quick escape. [00:02:42] Speaker F: Kaitoa can have a quick escape. Johawk doesn't run from a fight. [00:02:47] Speaker D: Oh, we should have got the. The sending kid to to get in touch with. Rube the Cube. [00:02:53] Speaker E: A little late. [00:02:57] Speaker G: Let's fight these Magi. Magi. [00:03:01] Speaker A: Is that what you're here to do? [00:03:03] Speaker D: Psst. [00:03:04] Speaker A: It's me, Selaine. [00:03:06] Speaker H: Steve. Is that what you're here to do? [00:03:08] Speaker E: Oh, it's Minty. I guess he kind of like Steve will just look over and kind of shrug. Is Gurm around yet? Yeah. [00:03:18] Speaker D: Did Miki wake up? [00:03:20] Speaker A: One of the servants from the Dansion kaitoa has found your wallet. And it is Miki/Gurm. You know, you said you forgot something in the Dansion. And they dutifully have found it. He is all wrapped up, still sleeping. It looks like he must have still a level of exhaustion or two. [00:03:46] Speaker C: Is he in the billfold? [00:03:48] Speaker A: Yeah, he's all tight in a little billfold. [00:03:51] Speaker D: Does he have like a little burrito? Does he have a weapon or like. No, he's still like unarmed. [00:03:59] Speaker A: Yeah, he's ragged but well, I guess. Everybody make a perception check real quick as the servants bring Miki down Jacob's ladder there, Jacob does now withdraw the ladder. It seems like all of the occupants of the Dansion now have been accounted for. [00:04:19] Speaker F: Oh, that was cocked on the third natural 19 of the. [00:04:23] Speaker G: That was my perception check. That was the natty one. I rolled a 13. [00:04:30] Speaker E: Eighteen, 27. [00:04:32] Speaker G: Two threes, an eight, an 11, a one and a 19. And the 19 was on deliciousness. [00:04:39] Speaker D: I got a 15 plus five, so, non natty 20. [00:04:45] Speaker E: Oh, Steve, Steve has a 27. [00:04:47] Speaker A: Okay, so Steve, Rook, you just do not quite grasp what Miki is muttering as he says. I need to be in my best whistle and flute. I've been Jack Jones for so long. So many apples and pears, round the house they go. Just a pig's ear. Just a pig's ear. [00:05:13] Speaker A: And you know Steve, you speak Thieves Cant, don't you? [00:05:17] Speaker E: I do [00:05:20] Speaker A: and you understand. You know Miki, he's stringing together a whole bunch of cockney gnome slang. And he says he's just, he's dying to finish his long rest. [00:05:36] Speaker D: Can like, can he don the Kaitoa baby Bjorn? [00:05:42] Speaker A: You could definitely beckon him back into the Bjorn position. [00:05:46] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:05:47] Speaker A: Now is he, is he strapped on the front like infant style? [00:05:51] Speaker D: Yeah, and I'm gonna put Causty the hammer in his hands. [00:05:57] Speaker A: Okay, you hear a couple of exclaims now again from the student body. And Minty beside you, Steve, you know she's still waiting to be answered, but yeah, beside you, Perry nudges you Beleg and says are you guys like a new alliance or something? And you Steve, are you here to kill wizards? [00:06:21] Speaker E: Oh, I, I already answered her with. With just a shrug. [00:06:27] Speaker A: Feel like want to make you roll a charisma based skill there, Steve. [00:06:31] Speaker E: Oh, that's always the best for him. [00:06:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:33] Speaker A: How about we roll a quick either charisma or deception? [00:06:38] Speaker E: Well you, you give me whichever one you want cuz both of them are exactly the same rule. [00:06:43] Speaker A: Well, let's call it deception. [00:06:45] Speaker E: All right, so for the best or the worst? Uh, it's not so bad. It's a 19 minus 1 18. [00:06:57] Speaker A: Eh, a shrug. Very aloof always, Steve. Well, let's see how aloof you are. Time's up. And the last couple of white sand particles are out of Raymer's big hourglass there. [00:07:16] Speaker E: Do I get the feeling that she's angry at me? [00:07:20] Speaker A: Yeah, she's pissed. [00:07:22] Speaker D: Of course she is. Perpetually. [00:07:24] Speaker F: Yes. [00:07:25] Speaker E: Wow. I didn't give her the weird feet. It's not my fault. [00:07:31] Speaker A: Remember, I can read surface level thoughts. [00:07:34] Speaker E: Damn it. [00:07:37] Speaker H: Cantrip. [00:07:39] Speaker D: Just someone in the back being like cantrip. [00:07:44] Speaker A: As you try in vain, Steve, to read her. You are read yourself. It's an embarrassing moment. Party. Where do you stand here? As across the way, three wizards materialize on the opposite noontime room. [00:08:03] Speaker F: This is happening now. [00:08:06] Speaker G: I'm beside Perry, wherever he is. [00:08:08] Speaker F: I'm towards where the chain is acting like it's on my leg. Okay, I've got my shield on and I'm ready to draw my flail. [00:08:17] Speaker D: I'm next to Steve. [00:08:19] Speaker E: I'm where I was chained previously. And I guess standing next to the little guy, the Corgi. [00:08:27] Speaker D: Okay. [00:08:28] Speaker C: Okay. [00:08:28] Speaker A: You hear a shout from all the way across the way. [00:08:36] Speaker G: Oh! [00:08:37] Speaker H: Tea and crumpets time. [00:08:41] Speaker D: Across where? [00:08:43] Speaker G: All the way 120 feet. Beleg is being careful to look at all of the, like the, all the other residents of the the towers to decide where he goes first. [00:08:55] Speaker A: Everybody's motionless. In terms of the student body, three figures have appeared on the opposite noontime room. Clearly. [00:09:04] Speaker G: Well, if they're motionless, I'm motionless. [00:09:07] Speaker D: As soon as they say teen crumpets time, Kaitoa starts tooting like a kettle boiling. [00:09:13] Speaker H: Okay. [00:09:18] Speaker A: Okay, rest of the party, what are you doing? [00:09:20] Speaker C: In this moment, Rook's just watching with his hands over his weapons. [00:09:26] Speaker E: Yeah, I'm kind of waiting. Yeah. [00:09:27] Speaker D: Zozo's unclasped her alchemical pouch and got her hand hovering over it. [00:09:35] Speaker F: My hand is over my flail and I'm staring at the three wizards. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:42] Speaker E: Gnollishly. [00:09:43] Speaker A: Mm. There is now an apparition, a clear illusion, a doubling of these three High Magi. They now appear right in front of the party, much as the party appeared just a day ago on the balcony of the noontime room. It is a clear apparition. They are back there, 120ft on the opposite noontime room of the Eastern tower. And here, on the Western tower, you are now faced with the illusion of what looks like, to the left, a levitating deep gnome. He appears to be taking some sort of a bubble bath. In the center, a very old and crusty and ossified looking creature. Is it humanoid? Who can tell? It almost looks like a piece of wood in a robe. And then thirdly a very, you might say angelic perhaps, but sort of terrifyingly angelic figure with a huge headdress and a bell mounted on that headdress. So here is a person that has a large brass bell as a sort of hat. And with them come three priests. And the moment that this apparition appears here - so these three High Magi and the three priests around the third one - all of the students bow low. [00:11:31] Speaker E: I'm not gonna bow. [00:11:32] Speaker F: I'm gonna say, well met. [00:11:35] Speaker D: I'll be like, Where's Rube? Where's the jello? [00:11:41] Speaker G: Beleg says, cute. [00:11:46] Speaker A: There is a word that escapes the lips of the center figure here. It is almost imperceptible, but he waves his hand forward and all of a sudden the Corgi falls dead. [00:12:06] Speaker G: Bye, Corge! [00:12:08] Speaker E: Corge Costanza. No! [00:12:11] Speaker A: In the very next moment, the other wizard, the deep gnome, he gives a sad little head shake, snaps his fingers and - remember that kid there that was casting the frosty sphere? Falls dead in the pews. And then finally, this High Magi in the bell headdress, her bell gongs. And the minotaur Raymer simply disappears and ceases to exist. [00:12:58] Speaker G: Oh, cool. [00:13:00] Speaker D: Zozo is gonna check the dead people. [00:13:04] Speaker A: Corge is cold and dead. And that other kid in the pews falls down. There is an exclaim from the little gnome, the deep gnome to the left, [00:13:16] Speaker H: and says, I am Nim, the friendly wizard. Now where's my toast with pate of gizzard? [00:13:29] Speaker A: The other person in the center makes a low noise. And they sound crusty and ossified. [00:13:45] Speaker G: What's the third one say? Jebda! That's what the one on the right says? [00:13:59] Speaker A: And the three priests around this one all have like, wooden boards with bells on them and they slap themselves in the middle of the forehead. Jedba! Jedba! [00:14:24] Speaker D: How's Dustbin doing? [00:14:26] Speaker A: The gnoll pup whispers to you. Yllato hasn't spoken since 632. [00:14:34] Speaker G: Was that Yllato that just chanted? [00:14:39] Speaker A: Beleg roll a quick perception, but rest of the party - again, Zozo, you're dead-check - roll medicine, I guess, while Beleg is rolling that. But I mean, these people appear to have been struck dead. [00:14:52] Speaker G: Two plus one. [00:14:53] Speaker D: Okay, I rolled a ten for medicine.. [00:14:57] Speaker B: Dr. Zozo. [00:14:58] Speaker A: That little Tabaxi girl rose up and goes, Power Word Kill. [00:15:04] Speaker F: Yup, yup. Better him than us. Actually, Johawk could survive Power Word Kill. [00:15:15] Speaker G: So we have Nim on the left, Ossifer on the middle and Yllato on the right. Or Ossifer on the right and Yllato. Okay. Ossifer in the middle. [00:15:31] Speaker D: Ossifer's in the middle, [00:15:34] Speaker G: Talks like wood. [00:15:36] Speaker F: I mean, angelic one is who? [00:15:38] Speaker C: Jebda. [00:15:44] Speaker A: And the three priests of Jebda do their chant. Jebda! Jebda! [00:15:48] Speaker G: Well, you're annoying. [00:15:51] Speaker A: Out from the side walks a man in purple. And it is none other than Pompous Pimpernel from Polb. [00:16:04] Speaker G: Oh shit. Well, I hope you don't want your boat back. [00:16:13] Speaker D: Very bad man. [00:16:16] Speaker E: You're a bad man. [00:16:18] Speaker G: You're badman Jerry. [00:16:20] Speaker A: There appears to be a translucent door, perhaps an extension of the Dansion here that has produced a nobleman all in purple that you guys remember all the way back in Polb. And says immediately, where is Mem, the wizard who casts fireballs? Oh, the things I've done. Barrister, solicitor, prosecutor. Oh, the things I've done. [00:16:59] Speaker G: He's not here. [00:17:01] Speaker H: I'm Nim. Remember me? I like to rhyme. Spongebath! Weee! Where is Mem? Bring him here. [00:17:16] Speaker A: And all of a sudden Mem is produced from the translucent door. He seems to be in some sort of brass shackles and anklets. Oh, he is in terrible shape. He looks thin and sleep deprived. And then there is a question. [00:17:36] Speaker B: Where is the gnome? [00:17:40] Speaker A: And everyone is looking at the party. [00:17:43] Speaker G: I thought he was with us. [00:17:45] Speaker D: Yeah, he was. He strapped my chest. Right now can you like swallow him up with your like. [00:17:52] Speaker E: Yeah, close them inside of you to [00:17:56] Speaker D: make like a compartment for him? Yeah. Nice. [00:18:01] Speaker E: I'm going to to like mind communicate with Minty. Like, these are your people? [00:18:11] Speaker G: Forgot who Minty was for a second there. [00:18:14] Speaker A: Minty seems to be uncommunicative. And Steve, you feel like you are in an anti magic zone. [00:18:25] Speaker E: Just the way I like it. [00:18:28] Speaker G: No, not the way I like it. Zone of Truth! Oh yeah. [00:18:48] Speaker D: All right. [00:18:49] Speaker G: Make me roll. [00:18:52] Speaker A: The student body is slightly behind the party. You're faced with the apparitions of the three High Magi. But there they are actually just over 120ft back on the other tower. [00:19:08] Speaker D: I imagine. I can see them? Absolutely. Also like same level, so they're even plane. They're just going straight across. And also, are they projecting the same image as they are truly? [00:19:28] Speaker A: Yes. They appear to be moving at the exact same time as the projection. [00:19:33] Speaker D: Like a one for one image. [00:19:36] Speaker G: Beleg looks at them or looks at the projections and says, so are you gonna deal with these guys and points to all the students first or are you gonna deal with us first? [00:19:48] Speaker H: Well, let's look at the agenda here. Okay. Number one, three punishments. All dealt. Where are my crumpets and gizzard, you know I am a hungry wizard. Does anyone have a rhyme to entice me? Hello! [00:20:15] Speaker F: I have a question about the fireball that left the Gnoll civilization to fall. [00:20:24] Speaker H: Well done asking the way I like. I will speak about the wizards. You see, we stayed above the fray. The world is red in tooth and claw. And the wizards descended. And what we saw, was a time to turn the tide, with carnage wide. [00:20:55] Speaker E: What? Was there any reaction from Minty when. When the students were killed? Or is this just something that she's gotten used to? [00:21:05] Speaker A: Now most are bowing low and looking straight ahead. Who are you? Whom do you serve? And this is Ossifer. They point a long, crusty, crumbling finger out towards the party. Jebda! Jebda! And the priests of Jebda 3 all shout in unison. Yllato looks towards you, Zozo, and you hear a beautiful voice. Enter the circle of truth. [00:21:58] Speaker D: If you were to call me Rube, why lie to the students and pretend I'm not a cube? [00:22:07] Speaker H: The one rule was broken. [00:22:11] Speaker A: And Ossifer mutters to himself, Order. And Pompous Pimpernel, this guy off to the side, he's beaming, just beaming as he arranges a whole bunch of papers in his hands. [00:22:36] Speaker G: What are you so excited about? [00:22:43] Speaker A: And there seems to be now, Beleg, a bit of a focus on the party. Ossifer again says, who are you? Whom do you serve? [00:23:00] Speaker F: I'm sorry, could you guys glean anything from that? [00:23:04] Speaker C: Nope, not much. [00:23:08] Speaker H: Bring Rube the stenographer. And Rube the cube appears in the room with the scrolls and the black ink. [00:23:19] Speaker H: What's up, Rube? [00:23:21] Speaker A: Hey, it's Rube! [00:23:22] Speaker E: Is he still a cube? [00:23:24] Speaker G: Long time no see, man. [00:23:26] Speaker D: I say, I say like, Rube, are you a part of this party or have you been banished? [00:23:38] Speaker A: You get a couple pops back, Kaitoa. Which translates to: if you wanna know the rule, play it cool. [00:23:55] Speaker F: So you admit the fireball rolled through my people at your call? [00:24:01] Speaker H: The best of all possible outcomes. [00:24:06] Speaker F: I look very upset. [00:24:11] Speaker H: A rough thing to learn, but a necessary thing to learn. [00:24:19] Speaker E: Necessary thing to burn? Is that what he said? [00:24:22] Speaker A: But you know, Mem off to the side, is being led over to what seems to be some sort of a witness area. And he does not look pleased. Nim seems to hold up this wet agenda and his arcane bubble bath shower seems to finish up and he says, [00:24:48] Speaker H: Next: level up, come forward, Beatrice and Pus and Bob too. [00:25:01] Speaker A: And a couple of wizards are going up and they're receiving like upgraded wands and new robes and somebody's got a new buckle for their spellbook. And both Nim and Ossifer seem to be bestowing some sort of, you know, graces and leveling up upon these kids. The party hears the question still hang in the air. Whom do you serve? [00:25:32] Speaker H: One of you must speak for the party. Oh, I'm Pompous Pimpernel, the prosecutor from Polb and now proprietor of the White Chain, wouldn't you know. [00:25:47] Speaker H: Oh, I've taken over many things. [00:25:55] Speaker G: Whoa there, bud. [00:25:59] Speaker D: No, we're not letting Johawk speak for us. No, no. [00:26:06] Speaker F: I've got a charisma of 10. [00:26:09] Speaker G: Beleg looks at Nim and he goes, hey, man, we share a hat. We're friends, Nim, could you please tell me what the fuck is going on with him? and Pompous Pimpernel. [00:26:26] Speaker H: Oh, you young precocious Elvish brat, buy my fiddle - that's my hat! [00:26:37] Speaker A: And Nim is like, thrilled as he recognizes the nimble wizard's hat atop your head. The slouchy beanie hat. [00:26:47] Speaker H: Well, become my friend. A wizard's never done learning. Order! [00:27:02] Speaker A: And Ossifer is croaking order to the side. [00:27:08] Speaker G: There might be wisdom in that. Time will tell. But you didn't tell me what's going on with the Pompous Pimpernel. [00:27:16] Speaker B: Consequences for your actions. Accusations I will deliver. Bring this deep gnome his pate of liver. See, I can rhyme with the best. Don't give me a test. Don't even jest. [00:27:35] Speaker G: Fuck you. [00:27:38] Speaker F: This is. This is pushing the limits of my Common speaking. [00:27:42] Speaker A: The wizard Nim, though, is transfixed by you now, Beleg, like he's looking at that hat. [00:27:49] Speaker C: He likes her hat. [00:27:50] Speaker G: It's. Yeah, it's a sweet hat. [00:27:55] Speaker A: And Rook, all of a sudden, a very interesting item that you used to wear is brought out that you would immediately recognize. There is no history roll required for an item that was on your original player's sheet. Out comes your burnt scale mail from Chintaduu. [00:28:20] Speaker C: Where did you get this outfit? [00:28:22] Speaker A: And holding it is Homas, the dark hand. [00:28:27] Speaker G: Oh, no. [00:28:30] Speaker D: Hummus. [00:28:33] Speaker E: He's a nice guy. And a dip. How's it going? [00:28:39] Speaker D: A dip and a derp. [00:28:42] Speaker A: And he is led over to where. To where Mem is. And there's a growing apprehension as another figure is wheeled out. It is Doraphil the dwarf. (Unintelligible) And Rube the cube is like writing furiously on a piece of parchment, like trying to transcribe what he's saying. [00:29:15] Speaker F: What the fuck did you guys do to Doraphil? [00:29:18] Speaker D: Oh, we like, not us, we love Doraphil. [00:29:22] Speaker B: Yeah, accomplices oh, an alliance. One rooted in conspiracy, subterfuge, and culminating in abduction, kidnapping and ritual murder and sacrifice. I'll prove that these six and their accomplice Mem are at the root of also the smuggling out of sorcerous and wizard children along the sorcery road to Polb, and harboring such magic users away from the Wizards Guild. Let the trial begin. [00:30:08] Speaker C: That's bullshit. [00:30:11] Speaker G: Hey, Nim, you know we share a hat. And you also know we didn't do any of that. [00:30:18] Speaker H: Oh-ho! Unclear motives. Hold on here. <Sniff> [00:30:24] Speaker A: And he takes a huge snort of like a red powder off of a small paper envelope. [00:30:31] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, doing that redfrog. [00:30:33] Speaker D: Being like, you're high on redfrog, Sir. [00:30:36] Speaker E: I call for mistrial. [00:30:42] Speaker D: Who's the judge? [00:30:43] Speaker A: He looks around, like, furtively, and then casts what's clearly prestigitation and all appearance of the red dust around his nostril disappears. Ossifer to the right says, aaarrgh. [00:31:04] Speaker A: Then produces from inside of his cloak a small vial. Can anybody roll perception on this vial? As he downs it - guys, this guy just popped a cork of something. [00:31:18] Speaker C: Nine. [00:31:18] Speaker E: Whoa. [00:31:19] Speaker F: That's not the time for a two dice. [00:31:24] Speaker B: This is. [00:31:24] Speaker G: It's entirely un-Belegian. It was a natty 20. [00:31:33] Speaker F: I am so proud of you. [00:31:37] Speaker G: This hasn't happened since episode two. [00:31:41] Speaker A: It almost pains me to ask Zozo and Steve what they got, but we're gonna come back to you, Beleg. [00:31:47] Speaker E: I rolled a 24 for Steve. [00:31:50] Speaker A: Okay? The Alchemist, the boy from Moy, and Beleg, especially you. You notice - you bought them - why, it has the label of the True Elf potions from Lantin. This guy just slammed a healing potion. [00:32:07] Speaker E: Oh, shit. [00:32:10] Speaker A: So all of a sudden, Ossifer's demeanor is changed and Nim as well. They seem to be sitting up again. Nim is kind of hovering there, levitating midair. Ossifer seems to be on some sort of like a wooden chair. And this Yllato is standing surrounded by her three priests. [00:32:34] Speaker G: Hey, Nim, I know that I'm the vettee and you're the vetter, but I gotta point out, you sure look better. [00:32:41] Speaker H: I like it. Any new funnies? [00:32:47] Speaker A: And he looks like he's had too much of whatever he just snorted. But some kid raises their hand and says, yes, there was a new answer to a traditional riddle. And this kid's looking at you, Steve, the fart joke. [00:33:04] Speaker E: So can I do like one long, like, underarm blast? [00:33:09] Speaker H: Oh, a promise kept talking about a fart that slept? [00:33:16] Speaker E: I give him one more. [00:33:21] Speaker A: I'll tell you what party. Can you roll group Charisma. You still haven't answered who speaks for the party. But you're gaining the favor of this small deep gnome here. [00:33:33] Speaker F: You said charisma. Oh, thank God it was Beleg I got a natural 18 plus 0. [00:33:39] Speaker D: I got a 17. Okay, 14. The best charisma. Oh wow. Ever rolled. [00:33:48] Speaker E: Well, regular Steve roll. I got a four, uh Steve. [00:33:53] Speaker A: Yeah, in this moment. There's a moment of brief levity here as something is about to come through that dimension door again. [00:34:02] Speaker F: Johawk is doing nothing but stewing in anger. He's ready to rage. [00:34:10] Speaker E: Steve knows better than to fucking open his dumb mouth. [00:34:13] Speaker D: Yeah, those are both the same. [00:34:16] Speaker G: Beleg holding tight, but also he still hates the Pompous Pimpernel, so. [00:34:21] Speaker C: Oh. [00:34:21] Speaker E: Oh yeah. Steve is like just thinking about his danger room. Better not have touched any of my stuff. [00:34:31] Speaker C: Rook's just. Yeah, just wait and seeing here. [00:34:37] Speaker H: Let's get on with the trial. I am tired from travelling those miles when we left a month ago to get the wizard Mem to and fro. And who else is coming through the door? Someone else from Polb Manor? [00:35:02] Speaker A: And here comes stumbling through the mayor of Polb - presumed dead - with Dante the messenger. [00:35:14] Speaker D: That drunken asshole. [00:35:19] Speaker C: Well, Dante loves us. [00:35:22] Speaker H: I'm not even supposed to be here! [00:35:25] Speaker E: Oh, poor Dante. [00:35:28] Speaker G: Someone make a distraction. [00:35:33] Speaker F: Do you need me to make a distraction? [00:35:36] Speaker D: No, just wait. [00:35:38] Speaker C: Okay. [00:35:39] Speaker A: Pompous Pimpernel is a bit pissed at the moment saying: enough coercing with the witnesses. Time to get on with the presentation of evidence. [00:35:53] Speaker G: Oh, I hate the Pompous Pimpernel. [00:35:56] Speaker D: Can I nudge like Dustbin? [00:36:00] Speaker A: Yes, I'm here, Master construct. [00:36:05] Speaker D: Just like whip up a wind of dust. [00:36:09] Speaker A: Oh, a gust of wind. [00:36:11] Speaker H: Yeah, I'll prepare that. [00:36:14] Speaker A: And you see him, he's thumbing through his book. There's a gust of wind spell prepared. [00:36:24] Speaker H: Folks. [00:36:25] Speaker A: Somebody comes through the door here. That is a very strange figure. Not known to the party at all. It's a person carrying clay masks. They are marched up into the witness area, but behind them is a figure that the party knows really well. This would probably be burned into Steve's memory as you feel the scar around your neck, Steve, from when you had the collar smashed off via the trip hammer. It is Bitali. [00:37:11] Speaker G: Dimitri? Oh, Bitali. Fuck. [00:37:14] Speaker E: Hey, big guy. [00:37:17] Speaker A: And he is led out with his head low and it looks like he has had his hands chopped off. [00:37:29] Speaker E: Oh no. [00:37:31] Speaker A: And sealed with some sort of molten lead or metal also. [00:37:36] Speaker D: Okay, Fuck. Dark. [00:37:38] Speaker F: Are we sure this is a zone of truth or they like under duress? And they're faking the spell. [00:37:45] Speaker G: Beleg hides his cool new hand behind his back. [00:37:51] Speaker A: Ah, yes. Oh, hey, Beleg. The priests of Jebda. Oh, you feel their gaze on your brass gauntlets? [00:37:58] Speaker G: Oh, no. Leah gave them to me. [00:38:03] Speaker B: Well, Leah, the sorceress we were searching for in Lantin has not been found. Oh, the things I've done. But not been able to track down that little running rabbit. If nothing else is to be said, how do you plead? [00:38:27] Speaker B: You six plus one. Mem here is accused of reigniting a fireball on the Plains of Polb. And you all are accused of purging and culling magic users and nobles. Using a coterie of gnolls and kobolds to achieve such nefarious aims. Siphon off weapons to procure and sell. [00:39:01] Speaker C: Like, not guilty. [00:39:03] Speaker D: Yeah, not guilty. Guilty. Yeah. Name us. Like, provide evidence for direct evidence. [00:39:12] Speaker G: Beleg is sitting pretty silent right now. [00:39:15] Speaker A: Dr. Zozo, can you make a wisdom saving throw? [00:39:20] Speaker D: Okay, that is a 10. [00:39:23] Speaker A: You are drawn forward as if by an unseen hand and a blowgun, a dart blowgun, is produced from your pack. [00:39:34] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:39:35] Speaker B: Entered into evidence. One blowgun to administer the Redfrog. You turned on your friends, turned on your own caravan of merchants, sold them out to slavery. And here's the evidence. [00:39:56] Speaker E: Huh? [00:39:57] Speaker D: I found this blowgun in the wreckage of my carriage. [00:40:02] Speaker B: A likely story that comes far from even approaching the truth. [00:40:08] Speaker D: Drag me over to the Zone of Truth and I'll repeat that. [00:40:12] Speaker B: Everyone will be taking a turn in the Zone of Truth. [00:40:18] Speaker A: Next, can you make a wisdom saving throw? Steve? [00:40:23] Speaker E: Yo. Just a straight, straight wisdom. [00:40:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:29] Speaker E: That's a ten. [00:40:32] Speaker D: That's a ten. [00:40:33] Speaker E: That's a ten. [00:40:34] Speaker A: Okay, Steve, you hear a beautiful voice in your mind, sort of angelic and high, but clearly it is coming from the direction of Yllato, the third High Magi there. And you are thrown off. In this moment, you feel your mind being probed in a perturbing way. And Rook, can you make a wisdom saving throw? [00:41:04] Speaker C: 15. [00:41:06] Speaker A: Well, you definitely feel the probe of a some psychic interference. And as a Blood Hunter, do you have any. You don't have any reaction to people, like, probing into your mind with that grim psychometry? [00:41:19] Speaker C: Grim psychometry is just like meditating on something that's like. [00:41:23] Speaker A: Yep, okay. [00:41:25] Speaker C: Arcane Arcana. But... [00:41:28] Speaker E: Was that person a fiend by chance? Who? The. Whoever was hitting me up with the wisdom thing. If a fiend is trying something on me, I have advantage on saving throws versus spells on their abilities. [00:41:45] Speaker A: Well, let's say from a from a Meta perspective. I'll say no to answer it quickly. But Steve is curious as to the nature of this High Magi. And then Rook. Well, you're drawn forward. And if grim psychometry offers you no sort of passive resistance to any. Anything similar. You feel Bergen's blade now revealed at your side. [00:42:11] Speaker C: Yeah, it was given to me. It's a kind gesture and gift. [00:42:19] Speaker B: Oh, power hungry usurpers and corrupt mercenaries ruthless they are. Left the people of Polb dying they did. Bring the next witness here. [00:42:36] Speaker A: And Sergeant Sandred comes stumbling through. [00:42:43] Speaker E: Oh, that fucker. [00:42:44] Speaker A: And he is missing both eyes. [00:42:51] Speaker H: The terrible black beaks. I shielded me eyes. I did. The beaks came for me eyes. And I used the bodies of my men to survive. Oh, Polb, sweet Polb! [00:43:12] Speaker B: Well, there you have it. The heroes abandoned their duties in pursuit of their corrupt plot. Oh, giant ham I am, Prosecutor Pompous Pimpernel. You'll hate the fuck out of me. [00:43:31] Speaker C: That doesn't prove anything. [00:43:34] Speaker B: Do you speak then, Prince Ekurook Punschley? [00:43:40] Speaker C: I went in search of my father, whom I believe you would know something of and are not telling me the truth. And on my path I encountered and did the best that I could in each town that we went to. You tell me what happened to my father and the kind of justice that was served to him. And then come talk to me. [00:44:01] Speaker B: I hear your request. I have a list here. [00:44:07] Speaker A: And he produces the very same list that the party is in possession of. This is the list of about 40 names with red lines through it. Rook, there is the name G. Punschley on this list. [00:44:28] Speaker C: And what kind of justice was he served? [00:44:32] Speaker B: Ritual death at the hand of a sacred tomahawk. Well, you'd know all about it, wouldn't you? Orchestrating the whole thing. But I intend to take you all to task. The charges stand and death is the punishment. The nobles and the Wizards Guild are the accusers. [00:45:00] Speaker C: I think not. You need to prove that. [00:45:03] Speaker G: I think a lot of evidence has been missed. And I'm going to tell you right now, I'm feeling a little pissed. [00:45:12] Speaker H: I believe that they should choose someone to speak or they will lose. [00:45:22] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. [00:45:24] Speaker C: We do have to pick a lawyer. I demand we get a recess to figure out a lawyer. [00:45:30] Speaker D: I say like Gurm or. [00:45:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:34] Speaker D: Rube. [00:45:38] Speaker A: And friends and adventurers, that is where we will leave you tonight on this episode of Dungeons and Blaggards. [00:46:52] Speaker F: Johawk is so pissed. [00:46:57] Speaker E: Oh, yeah, I think we're all pretty pissed right now. [00:47:00] Speaker C: Yeah, we're all pissed. Oh, damn. [00:47:02] Speaker G: Poor, poor Zozo. [00:47:06] Speaker F: Wasn't a part of that. [00:47:09] Speaker G: Yeah, yeah. No, you deserve to be here. [00:47:12] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:47:13] Speaker G: Just got just dragged here. [00:47:18] Speaker D: Zozo is like what have I done? [00:47:21] Speaker A: Oh yeah. [00:47:23] Speaker E: Who have I fallen in with? [00:47:25] Speaker D: Awful crew. [00:47:27] Speaker E: Oh God. We go. I want to kill Pimpernel so bad. [00:47:30] Speaker D: Yeah, me too. [00:47:31] Speaker G: I hate him. [00:47:33] Speaker F: He wants to kill the High Magi. [00:47:36] Speaker D: Yeah. I just want to push him off the balcony. [00:47:41] Speaker F: What if Johawk was the lawyer? [00:47:43] Speaker D: No. [00:47:44] Speaker G: Like no. [00:47:46] Speaker E: No. Who was the. What was the corgi's name? Corge? Corge. It wasn't Steve's fault. [00:47:57] Speaker A: It seems like they took out some of the highest level of the student body. [00:48:04] Speaker E: Oh yeah. [00:48:06] Speaker F: I am so glad that was not used on us. They have no 9th level spell slot now. That was kind of dumb of them. [00:48:18] Speaker E: But [00:48:21] Speaker F: that's like 120ft is too far for Power Word Kill. So they can cast spells in this spectral form and we can do nothing about it.